Numb. Detached. Blah. That's how I would describe my mood today. I guess it matches the weather. Once again, we are covered in clouds. For the past month, it seems as though we've had more clouds than sun. Winter seemed to last forever this year. Cold. A dead earth. Brown grass. Skeletal trees. No color. Blah.

Something was different this morning, though, as I looked out the window. Green. Overnight, the grass in the yard greened up. Was it because of the warm weather the last couple of days? Was it the one day of sun we had this weekend? Was it the treatment the lawn company put on yesterday? Or did the new grass finally just say, "It's time to grow. It doesn't matter if it's cold and cloudy. We've waited too long and it's our time."

Recently, I was told that feeling detached during times of stress or grief is really our brain offering us grace. If we felt all the emotions associated with our grief immediately, they would overwhelm us. This provides me with great comfort. There are days I yearn to feel something, anything other than blah. But God is protecting me. Ultimately, God knows what I can handle. The numbness is a gift. It allows me time to strengthen my roots because strong roots make for a strong, vibrant plant that flourishes in many circumstances.

My spring is later this year, just like the Earth's. If I really look though, I'm starting to green up. I'm coming alive too. It won't be overnight like the grass outside my window, but it will happen. Trust, patience, and faith in God's ultimate love for me as God's beloved creation is the key. Even though the sky's are gray, there is a streak of color in my life. For that, I am thankful.