And Its Back Again

It's been a long journey for me to become comfortable with the emotion of anger. I grew up believing that there were certain emotions that were good and therefore acceptable and certain emotions that were bad and therefore unacceptable. Anger was one of those emotions that I always put in the bad/unacceptable column. After all, anger can take control and make us do and say things that we later regret. It causes us to loose control; and being in control of ourselves is the most important priority. Consequently, I fight my anger. When I'd feel that telltale feeling start to rise in my chest and throat, I'd stuff it. I'd do everything I could to stop myself from doing something that I would later regret. Frankly, it took a lot of energy to stuff those feelings. And it began to take a physical and emotional toll on me.

I subscribe to a number of different email devotions. This week, one of those devotions focused almost exclusively on anger. A sign perhaps? The one yesterday talked about how being anger is not a sin, but anger, more specifically righteous anger, has its place in Christian life. Even Jesus got angry when he saw the money changers defiling the temple. He made a whip, overturned tables, and yelled. Righteous anger has a place in Christian life.

Paul even talks about anger when he says, be angry but don't sin. It's OK to be angry. It's a sign that something's not right; like my own personal alarm system. Even though my anger my be righteous, I still choose how I react. At times, it's appropriate to do whatever is necessary to protect yourself, either physically or emotionally. But we can let the anger take control and allow ourselves to do things that we later regret. That's what Paul warns us against doing. But since we are all sinners, we are all forgiven for these sins.

Today, I've had some anger resurface. It's to be expected, I suppose, as I ran into a couple of my "offenders" this week. One my hand, it frustrates me that I'm still working through this. But one the other, I have come such a long way. I have taken this terrible, horrible experience and used it to become stronger and hopefully wiser. As easy as it would be to become stuck and wallow in my pain and hurt, I have not allowed myself to do that. Instead, I acknowledge the "negative" feelings and try to so something productive with then. I also remind myself that my anger is righteous: I was betrayed, judged, and abandoned. And righteous anger does have a place in Christian life. All things work together to glorify God - even anger.