Putting It In Neutral

Experts tell us that conflict is neutral. Apparently, these experts have never been smack dab in the middle of an icky, emotion-filled conflict where real people with real feelings are hurt. Of course, that's an unfair comment. We know that the experts have been in conflict and by labeling conflict as neutral, it does take the power and fear away from it. Conflict, if handled correctly, leads to great things. But it's scary.

Being in the middle of some very intense conflict currently is very interesting. I sometimes try to put myself into the role of an objective observer to see if I can gain new perspective. Why? Because in my opinion, that is one of the biggest barriers to resolution. Each party gets so entrenched in trying to prove they are right and the other person is wrong that it's easy to lose sight of what is important - loving each other.

Jesus talks about the two great commandments: love God and love your neighbor. At first, these seem like two different commands - worship God and be good to your neighbor. However, I think they are intertwined with each other as well. Of course we should love God with all our heart, mind, and soul. But each and every one of us is a precious creation of God. By loving our neighbor, we also love God.

Jesus takes the command to love our neighbor even one step further and says we should love our enemy. That is the challenge. When I am locked in a bitter dispute where I feel I have been wronged, I want to others to feel my pain as intensely as I have. I want them to experience exactly what I have so they can get a taste of their own medicine. But that's not my job. It's not my job to punish my neighbor for hurting me. That falls into God's responsibilities. Here, loving my enemy neighbor glorifies God and helps me to be a better servant. I fail miserably at this. I'm lucky that we have a God who is patient, who is willing to let me fail so that I can learn this lesson. A God who still loves me no matter what. Conflict is neutral: loving the person you are in conflict with helps us remember that.