There are times when I feel so strongly about advocating for those who have been mistreated for really any reason. Especially those who have been pushed out because someone else targeted them. And then I have days like today where I think I am still not healed enough to be truly effective. If I don’t feel heard, I just keep pushing and pushing. Maybe that’s a good thing. But I think it’s also important to know when to stop pushing. To just shine the light and let go of the outcome.
As I self-evaluate, I think it may be due to the fact I have often felt so alone in my struggles. While people may support me one-on-one, they do not go to bat very often for me when it truly matters. Since I am so used to carry my burdens alone, I am very tenancies and persistent in my pursuit of justice. However, passion overused becomes obsession. It’s a very tenuous line to walk. Maybe this is where it’s important to pray and listen for the Spirit’s guidance. This is an important lesson for me to focus on for the future.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
You Asked For It!
I’m currently doing lots of research about workplace bullying for my master’s program. Especially interesting is the different ways bullies and/or organizations respond to a target’s report of bullying. Overwhelmingly, targets are not believed. Scary. After months of enduring psychological torture that eats away at the very core of your being, you are told it didn’t happen. It couldn’t have happened. You are too sensitive, crazy, or deserved it somehow.
Sounds a lot like how reports of rape used to be treated.
In my own experience, I have been totally discounted by the leaders at the church. My bully was a popular and charismatic pastor who presented a compassionate persona. He seemed to embody the very essence of the servant or Level 5 leader. His sermons were inspiring, motivating people to live Church beyond Sunday morning and into the week.
But behind closed doors, it was a different story. This empathetic and selfless person turned into a manipulative, cruel monster. He had the most unbelievable ability to discover your soft underbelly and lodge multiple attacks at it. When you tried to protect or stand up for yourself, all of sudden, you were the problem. “You didn’t hear me right.” “You can’t take feedback.” “You have to decide why I have so much power over you.” Or my favorite, “You need to hear this. It’s for your own good.” This of course was followed by, “I love and care for you.” Yes, the Jekyll and Hyde bully is a tough one. Especially since once confronted, they become the victim.
When I finally spoke up, I was told by others that I had hurt him so badly. He had been so gracious to me and this is how I repaid him. I was told my side was wrong – I was told this by someone who wasn’t even present. I had one of my former teammates (who also happens to be a pastor) that I should be coming back asking for mercy and forgiveness. And my favorite, my depression made me see things incorrectly or made me too sensitive. Ahh yes, she’s crazy. You see, if you can blame the victim, then your actions weren’t wrong, cruel, or unethical. It’s her fault.
Believe me, that message was certainly drilled into me. I left that job and church feeling as though I was the biggest waste of skin to ever walk the face of the earth. I should be thankful they ever let me amongst them. And I should be ashamed at how I took advantage of the support and kindness they freely offered to me.
I understand that each of us is simultaneously saint and sinner. Every day we wage a battle against our sinful self and hope it doesn’t win. But here’s the thing, we all make mistakes. We all let the critical voices, the insecurities, and fears control us sometimes. If can’t admit when that happens, however, we hurt both ourselves and others. I truly believe the denial of my former pastor stems from his inability to admit his sinful self was in control. It was easier to project his sin onto me. If he could transfer is sin to me and then cast me out into the wilderness, than he could continue on. But here’s the problem, you can’t transfer your sin to someone else. You may momentarily be able to convince yourself the demons aren’t there, but they will resurface. Only this time, they will be stronger and harder to deny. In fact, they will disguise themselves as truth, love, and servanthood. A veritable bevy of wolves in sheep’s clothing. And that’s what makes them so insidious.
So what’s the answer? Well, for those of us who are targets, it’s constantly reminding ourselves that we did nothing to deserve our treatment. No one deserves to be psychological abused or tortured. Ethical people build you up, even when addressing tough stuff. Also, remember that often what the bully is saying to us, they are truly saying to themselves. It’s not about us, it’s about them and their insecurities and fears. If we acknowledge that, we can begin the process of rebuilding our core self and reclaim the Divine goodness that lives within us all.
Sounds a lot like how reports of rape used to be treated.
In my own experience, I have been totally discounted by the leaders at the church. My bully was a popular and charismatic pastor who presented a compassionate persona. He seemed to embody the very essence of the servant or Level 5 leader. His sermons were inspiring, motivating people to live Church beyond Sunday morning and into the week.
But behind closed doors, it was a different story. This empathetic and selfless person turned into a manipulative, cruel monster. He had the most unbelievable ability to discover your soft underbelly and lodge multiple attacks at it. When you tried to protect or stand up for yourself, all of sudden, you were the problem. “You didn’t hear me right.” “You can’t take feedback.” “You have to decide why I have so much power over you.” Or my favorite, “You need to hear this. It’s for your own good.” This of course was followed by, “I love and care for you.” Yes, the Jekyll and Hyde bully is a tough one. Especially since once confronted, they become the victim.
When I finally spoke up, I was told by others that I had hurt him so badly. He had been so gracious to me and this is how I repaid him. I was told my side was wrong – I was told this by someone who wasn’t even present. I had one of my former teammates (who also happens to be a pastor) that I should be coming back asking for mercy and forgiveness. And my favorite, my depression made me see things incorrectly or made me too sensitive. Ahh yes, she’s crazy. You see, if you can blame the victim, then your actions weren’t wrong, cruel, or unethical. It’s her fault.
Believe me, that message was certainly drilled into me. I left that job and church feeling as though I was the biggest waste of skin to ever walk the face of the earth. I should be thankful they ever let me amongst them. And I should be ashamed at how I took advantage of the support and kindness they freely offered to me.
I understand that each of us is simultaneously saint and sinner. Every day we wage a battle against our sinful self and hope it doesn’t win. But here’s the thing, we all make mistakes. We all let the critical voices, the insecurities, and fears control us sometimes. If can’t admit when that happens, however, we hurt both ourselves and others. I truly believe the denial of my former pastor stems from his inability to admit his sinful self was in control. It was easier to project his sin onto me. If he could transfer is sin to me and then cast me out into the wilderness, than he could continue on. But here’s the problem, you can’t transfer your sin to someone else. You may momentarily be able to convince yourself the demons aren’t there, but they will resurface. Only this time, they will be stronger and harder to deny. In fact, they will disguise themselves as truth, love, and servanthood. A veritable bevy of wolves in sheep’s clothing. And that’s what makes them so insidious.
So what’s the answer? Well, for those of us who are targets, it’s constantly reminding ourselves that we did nothing to deserve our treatment. No one deserves to be psychological abused or tortured. Ethical people build you up, even when addressing tough stuff. Also, remember that often what the bully is saying to us, they are truly saying to themselves. It’s not about us, it’s about them and their insecurities and fears. If we acknowledge that, we can begin the process of rebuilding our core self and reclaim the Divine goodness that lives within us all.
Monday, July 6, 2009
All Are Welcome* (*Except those who . . .)
Let’s face it; most of us want to be part of a group. It starts in elementary school and continues through the rest of our lives. In my neighborhood, there are a group of women who spend a weekend in the cities to “get away.” I’m never invited. I’d like to say it doesn’t bother me, but it does. You see, I’ve been on the outside looking in for much of my life. Feeling excluded – tough stuff.
As I’ve been researching for my capstone on workplace bullying, I come across some interesting information on the power of exclusion and the damage it inflicts on the one being excluded. Here is just a small sampling:
So, excluding someone or giving them the silent treatment is truly akin to beating the person up. However, the bruises and scars can’t be seen. That’s what makes it so insidious.
As I reflect on my church experience, I can tell you the ostracizing and rejection has been the most painful. Although I don’t like it, I can handle flat out, in-your-face aggression much better than the passive-aggressive attack of silence. It screams at me, letting me know I don’t matter. And really, isn’t that the intent. It’s an extraordinarily powerful punishment.
Lewis Smedes wrote an excellent book entitled “Shame and Grace.” In this book, he talks about our greatest fear regarding shame is rejection by a community. BINGO! Rejecting someone by refusing to acknowledge their existence sends a clear message – there is something wrong with YOU. Not your actions, not your behaviors, but YOU. YOU are so horrible that I refuse to even acknowledge your very existence.
If you Google “shunning by church” or “church discipline”, the majority (and dare I say all) of the responses relate to conservative or evangelical churches. A minister or elder judges someone’s actions to be sinful and takes in upon themselves to demand repentance or expulsion from the church body. But here’s the ugly truth – it happens in liberal congregations as well. But, their actions are much more covert and passive aggressive. Often, the liberal congregations just make it so hostile that it is impossible to worship there. They stonewall you, prevent you from participating, and spread rumors about you. Some will even break ethical codes to share things with other to recruit others to help them in their campaign to let you know you are not worthy or welcome.
This is not what Jesus preaches. And it is wrong.
Jesus embraced those whom society and the synagogues deemed unworthy and rejected. Jesus did most of his work in the streets, not in the temple. I often wonder if Jesus would enter many of churches today, overturn tables, and call many of the leaders and members hypocrites. Jesus preached a Gospel of inclusion, of acceptance, and of love.
Last time I checked, there was no asterisk to Jesus’ message. All are loved because they are precious creations of God. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul; love your neighbor as yourself. That's all we really need.
As I’ve been researching for my capstone on workplace bullying, I come across some interesting information on the power of exclusion and the damage it inflicts on the one being excluded. Here is just a small sampling:
"Excluding and ignoring people, such as giving them the cold shoulder or silent treatment, are used to punish or manipulate, and people may not realize the emotional or physical harm that is being done. Some purposely hurt others by not inviting them to a party or ignoring them at work, and others may not even realize they are ostracizing someone when they ignore a new temporary employee or a friend after a disagreement.”
"The anterior cingulate cortex is the part of the brain that detects pain. When you give someone the silent treatment you are causing that person physical pain. Simply by ignoring someone else’s existence you can inflict pain on them.”
So, excluding someone or giving them the silent treatment is truly akin to beating the person up. However, the bruises and scars can’t be seen. That’s what makes it so insidious.
As I reflect on my church experience, I can tell you the ostracizing and rejection has been the most painful. Although I don’t like it, I can handle flat out, in-your-face aggression much better than the passive-aggressive attack of silence. It screams at me, letting me know I don’t matter. And really, isn’t that the intent. It’s an extraordinarily powerful punishment.
Lewis Smedes wrote an excellent book entitled “Shame and Grace.” In this book, he talks about our greatest fear regarding shame is rejection by a community. BINGO! Rejecting someone by refusing to acknowledge their existence sends a clear message – there is something wrong with YOU. Not your actions, not your behaviors, but YOU. YOU are so horrible that I refuse to even acknowledge your very existence.
If you Google “shunning by church” or “church discipline”, the majority (and dare I say all) of the responses relate to conservative or evangelical churches. A minister or elder judges someone’s actions to be sinful and takes in upon themselves to demand repentance or expulsion from the church body. But here’s the ugly truth – it happens in liberal congregations as well. But, their actions are much more covert and passive aggressive. Often, the liberal congregations just make it so hostile that it is impossible to worship there. They stonewall you, prevent you from participating, and spread rumors about you. Some will even break ethical codes to share things with other to recruit others to help them in their campaign to let you know you are not worthy or welcome.
This is not what Jesus preaches. And it is wrong.
Jesus embraced those whom society and the synagogues deemed unworthy and rejected. Jesus did most of his work in the streets, not in the temple. I often wonder if Jesus would enter many of churches today, overturn tables, and call many of the leaders and members hypocrites. Jesus preached a Gospel of inclusion, of acceptance, and of love.
Last time I checked, there was no asterisk to Jesus’ message. All are loved because they are precious creations of God. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul; love your neighbor as yourself. That's all we really need.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Random Musings . . .
It had been a long time since I last blogged. I really have no good excuse except I felt as though I had no insights to work through or share. In fact, my mind has felt foggy for quite a while now. It’s something that frustrates me greatly. I relish being able to tame my wild mind into logical and sequential thoughts that I can make sense of. I find great comfort in being able to analyze and discover epiphanies.
I know this is a side effect of the med changes I’ve been undergoing the past five months. First, an unsuccessful attempt at a new med. My body just said – nope, ain’t going to happen. After suffering through withdrawal symptoms and a definite downward slide into the pit, I went back onto the meds I was on. A big feeling of disappointment. Even though I intellectually know this was not my fault, but my body chemistry at work, I still have felt defeated. It’s hard to admit that.
Contributing to the struggle, I have discovered the extent of the betrayal I experienced at the hands of a trust Pastor. I’ve known for awhile that he talked about things he shouldn’t have; passed off his insecurities and assumptions as “the truth.” But I had been in denial at just how insidious and frankly, wrong his actions were. I continue to be amazed at the people who continue to protect him and justify his actions. It’s easy to make me out as the enemy or discount my perspective because I live with a mental illness. All too common a defense when someone takes advantage of another. And sad that someone is so fragile they feel they have to discredit and tear down another person.
However, there is victory in the knowledge that now I know. I know how wrong this person’s actions are and it really doesn’t matter if others believe me. While I have to live with the consequences and shame, I constantly remind myself that I don’t have to live the fact I hurt someone else so deeply. I didn’t protect someone or participate in the attacks. I have to turn this over to the great Power and be patient that what comes around, goes around.
I know this is a side effect of the med changes I’ve been undergoing the past five months. First, an unsuccessful attempt at a new med. My body just said – nope, ain’t going to happen. After suffering through withdrawal symptoms and a definite downward slide into the pit, I went back onto the meds I was on. A big feeling of disappointment. Even though I intellectually know this was not my fault, but my body chemistry at work, I still have felt defeated. It’s hard to admit that.
Contributing to the struggle, I have discovered the extent of the betrayal I experienced at the hands of a trust Pastor. I’ve known for awhile that he talked about things he shouldn’t have; passed off his insecurities and assumptions as “the truth.” But I had been in denial at just how insidious and frankly, wrong his actions were. I continue to be amazed at the people who continue to protect him and justify his actions. It’s easy to make me out as the enemy or discount my perspective because I live with a mental illness. All too common a defense when someone takes advantage of another. And sad that someone is so fragile they feel they have to discredit and tear down another person.
However, there is victory in the knowledge that now I know. I know how wrong this person’s actions are and it really doesn’t matter if others believe me. While I have to live with the consequences and shame, I constantly remind myself that I don’t have to live the fact I hurt someone else so deeply. I didn’t protect someone or participate in the attacks. I have to turn this over to the great Power and be patient that what comes around, goes around.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Dear God . . .
Dear God . . .I’m trying to make this a mantra for myself. One of the many lessons I have learned during this recent journey is I have an enormous need to control outcomes. The need to control has led me to do and say things that, although very true, don’t change the ultimate outcome. My need to control has led me to hold onto beliefs and emotions that have gotten in the way of my healing. My need to control outcomes has hurt me more than helped. It’s a hard thing to admit.
A common phrase many Christians say during times of trouble is “Let Go, Let God.” It’s a simple and beautiful phrase reminding each of us of God’s love and ultimate power. For those of us who have a great need to control, this is one of the hardest things to do. This is surrender. This is admitting defeat. This is admitting I can’t change a situation. This is admitting I am powerless. Yet, isn’t this what being a Child of God is all about? Doesn’t loving and obeying God mean we put our trust in God?
A friend and I were talking recently about the different situations in our lives. She made one of those off-handed comments that stuck me like a bolt of lightning: “We just have a hard time giving stuff over to God.” BAM! It was the smack in the forehead that I needed. During the past two weeks, I have begun the process of praying “Dear God . . .”whenever I begin my pattern of thinking of what I can do next to change the outcome of the numerous betrayals I have experienced. And you know what, it works. I have felt lighter and happier recently. Nothing has changed about my situation except me. By asking God to take my anger, hurt, and resentment from me, God has. Now, this hasn’t been an immediate feeling of relief. I know enough about myself to know I turn over the feeling I have at that exact moment. As much as I would like to turn over the whole enchilada, I don’t work that way. By focusing on the feeling of the moment, however, I do find relief and peace. And those little, incremental acts are beginning to add up to some big returns. As the Chinese proverb says, “The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.” Little by little, step by step, I am rediscovering my trust in God. And isn’t trust the foundation of any relationship? Dear God . . .
A common phrase many Christians say during times of trouble is “Let Go, Let God.” It’s a simple and beautiful phrase reminding each of us of God’s love and ultimate power. For those of us who have a great need to control, this is one of the hardest things to do. This is surrender. This is admitting defeat. This is admitting I can’t change a situation. This is admitting I am powerless. Yet, isn’t this what being a Child of God is all about? Doesn’t loving and obeying God mean we put our trust in God?
A friend and I were talking recently about the different situations in our lives. She made one of those off-handed comments that stuck me like a bolt of lightning: “We just have a hard time giving stuff over to God.” BAM! It was the smack in the forehead that I needed. During the past two weeks, I have begun the process of praying “Dear God . . .”whenever I begin my pattern of thinking of what I can do next to change the outcome of the numerous betrayals I have experienced. And you know what, it works. I have felt lighter and happier recently. Nothing has changed about my situation except me. By asking God to take my anger, hurt, and resentment from me, God has. Now, this hasn’t been an immediate feeling of relief. I know enough about myself to know I turn over the feeling I have at that exact moment. As much as I would like to turn over the whole enchilada, I don’t work that way. By focusing on the feeling of the moment, however, I do find relief and peace. And those little, incremental acts are beginning to add up to some big returns. As the Chinese proverb says, “The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.” Little by little, step by step, I am rediscovering my trust in God. And isn’t trust the foundation of any relationship? Dear God . . .
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Lessons Learned
Tomorrow I mark a one-year anniversary. It’s the day that started me down a path of discovering who I truly was, who my friends truly were, and where God existed for me. The path has been dark, scary, and filled with many unforeseen obstacles, some of which have left me more deeply wounded than I was at first. It’s a path I never expected to be on and certainly not one I would have voluntarily chosen. Never the less, it’s the one that I have to take. If I don’t continue to walk it, one step at a time, I will be forever lost on it. As I reflect on both the overwhelming darkness and brilliant bursts of light that have been along this path, I know I have learned much that has ultimately made me wiser. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Of the lessons I learned, these are the ones that stand out for me:
True friends stick by you no matter what.
It’s easy to say that you love and care for a person, but it doesn’t mean squat if you don’t back it up with actions. I saw a number of people this last year who thought saying “I care for you” could excuse any words or behaviors, no matter how hurtful. It doesn’t. True friends want to work it out; they want to hear what you have to say; they want to take responsibility for their actions. As the old adage goes: actions speak louder than words.
Assumptions truly to make an ass out of u and me.
I’ve been guilty of assuming this year. I can take responsibility for that. I have been on the receiving end of some assumptions too. And it hurts. I have been repeatedly told how I am feeling or should be feeling; how I will behave; or what my mental state is. Of course, no one except ourselves can truly know this stuff, yet I had people who thought it was their place to tell me all these things and more.
Just because people preach the Word of God, doesn’t mean they LIVE it.
This one is probably pretty self-explanatory. And very sad when you think about it.
There is a difference between truth-telling and judgment.
This is a hard one for me. I continually strive to tell the truth without blame or judgment, and believe I will continue to work on this for the rest of my life. Finding the balance of compassionate truthfulness is hard for many people. During this past year, I have more than one person judge me under the auspice of truth-telling. Much like the assumptions lesson, this one hurts as it has left me feeling emotionally abandoned by those who I thought knew better. In crises, you really do discover who are your friends and who are your “frienemies.”
I am stronger and more resilient than I ever thought.
I have survived something extraordinarily painful. I liken myself to a plate that has been dropped and broken. I am slowly being glued back together and will be restored to beauty and functionality. However, I will always bear the scars from this experience. There will always be parts of me that are weaker and need to be handled with care. Bottom line: I will be restored!
God is in it all!
I found God within the walls of a church. Since my shunning, I have found God everywhere. The face of Jesus exists among so many people; the Spirit dwells in so many places. Even in what I call my “Abraham moments” when I yelled at God asking God what the “bleep” was going on, I never felt God pull away from me. In fact, it was during those moments when God felt closet to me. I yearn for the fellowship, community, and overall sense of belonging that comes from being a congregant. However, I know that God does not just dwell within the walls of a Church, but is in the world. That also means that I can serve God anywhere, not just within the Church. And that gives me great comfort as well.
I continue to hope and prayer for healing, peace, and courage as I continue towards the light that I see at the end of this part of my life journey. Maybe even some day, I can remember this day with gratitude, along with the sadness. Deep in my heart, I will always be a person of hope.
True friends stick by you no matter what.
It’s easy to say that you love and care for a person, but it doesn’t mean squat if you don’t back it up with actions. I saw a number of people this last year who thought saying “I care for you” could excuse any words or behaviors, no matter how hurtful. It doesn’t. True friends want to work it out; they want to hear what you have to say; they want to take responsibility for their actions. As the old adage goes: actions speak louder than words.
Assumptions truly to make an ass out of u and me.
I’ve been guilty of assuming this year. I can take responsibility for that. I have been on the receiving end of some assumptions too. And it hurts. I have been repeatedly told how I am feeling or should be feeling; how I will behave; or what my mental state is. Of course, no one except ourselves can truly know this stuff, yet I had people who thought it was their place to tell me all these things and more.
Just because people preach the Word of God, doesn’t mean they LIVE it.
This one is probably pretty self-explanatory. And very sad when you think about it.
There is a difference between truth-telling and judgment.
This is a hard one for me. I continually strive to tell the truth without blame or judgment, and believe I will continue to work on this for the rest of my life. Finding the balance of compassionate truthfulness is hard for many people. During this past year, I have more than one person judge me under the auspice of truth-telling. Much like the assumptions lesson, this one hurts as it has left me feeling emotionally abandoned by those who I thought knew better. In crises, you really do discover who are your friends and who are your “frienemies.”
I am stronger and more resilient than I ever thought.
I have survived something extraordinarily painful. I liken myself to a plate that has been dropped and broken. I am slowly being glued back together and will be restored to beauty and functionality. However, I will always bear the scars from this experience. There will always be parts of me that are weaker and need to be handled with care. Bottom line: I will be restored!
God is in it all!
I found God within the walls of a church. Since my shunning, I have found God everywhere. The face of Jesus exists among so many people; the Spirit dwells in so many places. Even in what I call my “Abraham moments” when I yelled at God asking God what the “bleep” was going on, I never felt God pull away from me. In fact, it was during those moments when God felt closet to me. I yearn for the fellowship, community, and overall sense of belonging that comes from being a congregant. However, I know that God does not just dwell within the walls of a Church, but is in the world. That also means that I can serve God anywhere, not just within the Church. And that gives me great comfort as well.
I continue to hope and prayer for healing, peace, and courage as I continue towards the light that I see at the end of this part of my life journey. Maybe even some day, I can remember this day with gratitude, along with the sadness. Deep in my heart, I will always be a person of hope.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
My Word for the Year!
It’s New Year’s Day. The start of a new year. Whew! I have to admit that I am glad that 2008 is OVER. What a tumultuous year that was. I know that God is not supposed to give you more than you will handle, but as is often said, I think God has a little too much confidence in me.
I’m not one for making New Year’s resolutions. Never have been. I think it’s because I know that most likely, I won’t keep them. And I certainly don’t need another thing to beat myself up about. However, I was reading a blog that I follow and saw an awesome idea. Instead of making a list of resolutions, choose a word to guide your year. This is an idea that I can sign on too. The blogger had a list of words to choose from and encouraged readers to place their word for the year in the comment section – to get it out in the universe. I decided to put some meat around it and place it in my own blog. So here it is – my word for 2009 is . . . . .(drum roll please!)
RELEASE!
After these last couple of years, I need to release a lot of stuff: emotional, physical, and spiritual. I like this word better than the phrase “let it go” which has actually become a negative word for me. Although “release” is a close cousin to “let it go,” I like the visual this word paints for me. Think about it, we often release something that has been trapped. Release implies freedom. It implies empowerment. It brings gratitude to the one released. Release . . .it’s an invitation not a command.
I’m going to blog regularly about my progress on living the word release. I’m excited about the prospect of what being the word release will mean to my life. Blessings for wonderful 2009!
I’m not one for making New Year’s resolutions. Never have been. I think it’s because I know that most likely, I won’t keep them. And I certainly don’t need another thing to beat myself up about. However, I was reading a blog that I follow and saw an awesome idea. Instead of making a list of resolutions, choose a word to guide your year. This is an idea that I can sign on too. The blogger had a list of words to choose from and encouraged readers to place their word for the year in the comment section – to get it out in the universe. I decided to put some meat around it and place it in my own blog. So here it is – my word for 2009 is . . . . .(drum roll please!)
RELEASE!
After these last couple of years, I need to release a lot of stuff: emotional, physical, and spiritual. I like this word better than the phrase “let it go” which has actually become a negative word for me. Although “release” is a close cousin to “let it go,” I like the visual this word paints for me. Think about it, we often release something that has been trapped. Release implies freedom. It implies empowerment. It brings gratitude to the one released. Release . . .it’s an invitation not a command.
I’m going to blog regularly about my progress on living the word release. I’m excited about the prospect of what being the word release will mean to my life. Blessings for wonderful 2009!
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